This is a short story from the DVD box of Oreimo anime which I had done. Use this as a reference for what to expect from this site.
I have a secret that I can't tell anyone.
A very important, my dearest, yet sometimes painful and loathful secret.
I have no idea what to do with this secret.
Unable to abandon it, unable to be proud of it, a secret that I can't tell anyone, ever, and to be brought to my grave.
Although that is not too good...
But what can I do?
My name is Kousaka Kirino. A 14 year-old middle-school student. I am part of my school's athletic team, and my grades are outstanding.
My looks are extremely cute, and recently my photos have been published in magazines as a model.
For someone like me, who seems perfect to outsiders and myself, I do have some troubles of my own...
That day, while I was making a call in the living room, that guy came back from school.
After saying that in a lazy voice, that guy opened the door to the living room.
There's no one else home except for me. Which means... that line was meant for me.
How rare... His head must be wrong somewhere.
'Are you stupid?' I scolded silently in my heart. Hmph, there's no way I'll reply.
"Eeh? It can't be~? What are you talking about? Haha, what an idiot."
I deliberately talked loudly, deciding to ignore that guy's greeting.
"What's wrong Kirino, why are you so loud all of a sudden?" - It seems like I've made the other end perplexed about it. I apologized to her in my heart.
It's all that guy's fault. Here I am lying on the sofa and enjoy a chat, and he causes me to feel slightly unhappy.
As long as he was there, I continued to mutter "just go away" repeatedly under my breath.
"Ok, I understand. I'll leave after a change of clothes."
Hanging up the call, l left with a giggle.
Great, now I have a reason to go to the station.
After meeting my friend, there may be enough time to visit the <Obsessed Specialty Shop>... Let's take <that> out of my bag.
My heart can't help but look forward to being healed.
However, that feeling lasted only for an instant,
That guy's voice shattered the beautiful feeling I had.
His presence disappeared with the opening of the door.
"Che, how disgusting. What's that? Just die already."
That guy's name is Kousaka Kyousuke. He is a 17 year-old high school student who lives under the same roof as me. Black hair, a slim build, average height, and although his face is not ugly, those eyes of his that are similar to those of a dead fish spoil the whole look. He always has a lazy expression, like one that is almost asleep. He's not particular about clothing, and is the type of person that doesn't stand out from a crowd. The total opposite of me.
In my eyes, that guy hasn't been happy. At least in the past few years, he hasn't even smiled at me once. Hmph, it's not like I want to see him smile anyway.
This is one of the many things that troubles and angers me.
A long time ago, when I was a child, I used to call that guy "onii-chan".
But now, "that guy" will do fine.
The brother that I am familiar with is no longer around.
To help you guys understand, I'll refer to <that guy> as <Kyousuke> for now.
Although I don't want to refer to him like that, it's unavoidable.
Seizing the opportunity, I walked to my room after Kyousuke left the living room, to prepare for the trip.
My house is a 2 story independent house. My family consists of my father, mother, Kyousuke and me.
A rather well-to-do small family that doesn't lack anything.
Kyousuke and I each have our own room on the second floor. After a change into my casual clothes, I headed back to the living room down stairs. Past the dining room, into the kitchen. I took out some barley tea from the fridge.
... Che, that guy, he probably drank straight from the bottle...
This thought flashed in my mind, and I could no longer drink the barley tea.
I'd rather die than have an indirect kiss with that guy.
"Eww, that's too disgusting..."
That's exaggerating too much, do you have a cleanliness fetish? Perhaps some of you will think this way. However, it would be understandable if you put yourself into someone else's shoes, who has a sibling of similar age.
I took a quick drink of mineral water, and did a final check in the mirror.
Let out an extremely cute smile.
Getting my bag from the table, I took brisk steps towards the main door.
Just when I was about to leave the living room...
I knocked into Kyousuke on the first floor.
Bump. My breast knocked gently into Kyousuke's shoulders.
Wh......!? Th-this guy is horrible! Whe-Where does he think he's touching?
I fell onto the ground in a sitting position. My bag was knocked away from me as a result as well.
The contents in the bag spilled everywhere.
A chill went down my spine. Be-because! <The thing> that would reveal my hobby in an instant was in the bag as well.
"Oh, sorry about that."
Regardless, the clueless Kyousuke reached his hand out for the make-up. Kyaaaa this is bad this is bad this is bad!
Pa! I slapped Kyousuke's hand away.
Kyousuke hastily withdrew his hand in shock and stared at me sternly.
Ahhhh..... No, nonono, I have to- I have to come up with something... I have to trick this idiot and shove him away!
Even though my expression was fierce, my heart was in a mess. With much difficulty, I managed to say in a unwavering voice.
"... Right, don't touch it."
Qu-Quick! Scram quickly! Ughhhhhh...!
Perhaps my stern stare was working. Kyousuke was slightly taken aback, and he froze in place.
Okay, it's now or never...
I picked up my scattered make-up and walked quickly to the entrance.
I deftly put on my shoes, and with my back facing Kyousuke, I softly said.
"... I am off."
I shut the door with a bang for added affect.
Finally, a sigh of relief.
What, what a shock. Things would get messy if my secrets were revealed...
"Ah, it's time... I have to hurry."
I took a look at my watch, and began to jog. Even though my shoes are not made for running, there's no problem after I got used to them. I am quite good at running already. I feel comfortable whenever I am running, and all my troubles disappear in an instant.
Inexplicably, Kyousuke's timid looks kept loitering in my mind.
"... Why is he afraid of his younger sister? Is he an idiot?"
Such a pitiful person isn't my brother.
I hatehatehatehate - HATE that guy the most.
Because, that guy hates me too, right?
No, perhaps it's even worse.
Even though we've unexpectedly talked a lot today, that usually isn't the case. I've forgotten when, but our relationship became one that can't be called a brother-sister relationship. We'll ignore each other even if there's eye contact. We no longer hold conversations. His attitude towards me is worse than that towards an ordinary person. It's beyond dislike.
That cold look of his, as though he is looking at an outsider, makes me feel disgusted beyond words.
"You're not important to me, and are of no relation to me."
It's as though he conveyed that line through that cold look of his.
Who would want to interact with a person like that? To talk intimately? That's impossible, surely.
Just as well. His existence is of no importance to me too!
That's right. It's all that guy's fault.
The anxiety in my heart is due to him. The worries from my hobby is due to him. My hatred towards him as well - it's all his fault.
I definitely cannot forgive him.
It was after the meeting with my friend and the trip to the <Obsessed Specialty Shop>, where I noticed the biggest failure in my life.
My real motive for going to the station - was to obtain a promotional item from <a certain event at the shop>. I was prepared to take out the item I'd secretly smuggled out when...
"... It can't be."
I muttered softly in shock. I searched my bag again in vain as my hopes were dashed.
None. <That>, is not in my bag.
Immediately I recalled.
"I... dropped it... back then..."
My face must have turned green.
I rushed back home immediately.
I searched the entrance where I bumped into Kyousuke with all my might.
However, I still couldn't find it.
I flipped through the box that's used to store shoes, and searched through every pair, but I still couldn't find it.
"What should I do..."
Could it have been taken by someone? That can't be!? That would be bad! If that happens...
I thought of the <treasure> that I've lost.
I grabbed my head and let out a pitiful wail. I began to have a cold sweat. My body began to shiver uncontrollably from the cold, my teeth chattered. Ahh... Whoa....... I let out incomprehensible cries.
Just as I was displaying my ugly self unknowingly.
"What's wrong Kirino? What are you doing out here?"
I turned my head immediately, and found my mother looking at me anxiously in an apron.
"Are you looking for something?"
"Urm... Urm... Right. Ah-Ahhaha... I've found it, it's fine now."
"Really? That's fine then... First Kyousuke, then Kirino. What's so special about the entrance?"
I have no idea what she means.
"Anyway, dinner's almost ready. Hurry up and change."
I answered with a smile. Then Mother returned to the living room.
I let out a sigh.
... from that, it seems like Mother didn't pick <that> up. Father's not back yet... Which means, someone else found it...?
Just as I was staring at the entrance and thinking, a voice came from my side.
"...Hmm, what are you doing there?"
It's Kyousuke. My heart almost jumped out of my mouth in fright. I faked my calmness and turned around.
Our eyes met, and sparks flew.
Kyousuke left for the living room.
Even though I've won the staring match, my feelings didn't brighten at all.
I haven't found the lost item. It felt like I'd never get it back, and it's saddening.
Curry and miso soup was set on the dining table. The family then got together to eat. In this house, the kitchen, dining room and living room are all connected, and gives out a spacious feeling without the partitions.
Kyousuke and I sat side by side, facing our parents.
The television is airing the news. The solemn reporter was talking about the impact of exports due to Yen's rise in strength.
Father's drinking his soup silently. His casual clothes fit his huge physique perfectly, giving out a sharp aura not unlike that of a samurai. He is a policeman, and has dan-ranks in Kendo and Judo. His whole body releases a suffocating presence, unlike someone.
On the other side Mother is eating her delicious curry.
"My first dish that was praised by your father was curry," it seems like an incident that made Mother cry from happiness. After hearing that, as her daughter, I had no reason to stop Mother from making curry. Just to sidetrack a little, even though Mother looked simple with her light make-up, she is actually a real beauty. Well, I guess she is my mother, so that is to be expected.
Then onto Kyousuke. He still looks like someone who's about to commit suicide, as usual. His actions are suspicious though.
He kept stealing glances at Mother's and Father's faces.
... What is this guy doing? Disgusting...
Just as I was scorning Kyousuke, he finished his clam soup and spoke to Mother.
"I'm taking a trip to the convenience store later. Is there anything you'd like me to buy?"
"Ah, how about the new flavour of Haagen-Dazs? The limited seasonal flavour."
With that ordinary conversation, Kyousuke continued with a shocking topic.
"You know, I have a friend who's recently interested in shoujo anime, right, I think it was Kira something something."
Wait!? What did that guy just say!?
"Why did you suddenly bring this up?"
Mother tilted her head inexplicably. Kyousuke continued.
"Oh it's nothing. He introduced it to me, saying that it's interesting. I thought it would be harmless to give it a shot."
So it's him.
Indeed, he is the culprit.
Wh-What... What's with the "it would be harmless to give it a shot"?
This is bad! Too bad too bad too bad too bad too bad! To think this guy picked it up...
I almost snapped my spoon into two in anger, but Mother's next line put a twist in the situation.
"I saw them talking about this on television... You can't turn into that, right Father?"
"Yes. You don't have to get yourself exposed to a bad influence."
Father replied emotionlessly without a change in expression.
How much do they know about my <lost item>, how do I get it back - these things, there should have been a lot of things that I should be thinking about.
My heart was in a pain. I was tired from just holding back my tears.
Why must my family say such things?
If it's like this... to find a person to confide in and discuss with... is no longer possible...
I bit my lips, and endured the feelings of embarrassment and regret.
Noticing my weird actions, Mother stared at my face.
I don't want anyone to see me in a state where I was about to cry.
"... I am full."
With that I left the scene quickly, moving away from the living room and onto the second floor. Perhaps Father will get angry about it, but now is not the time to be thinking about that.
Back in my room, I roughly threw the green cushion on my bed.
Stop joking, stop joking, stop joking, stop joking...
My angry voices repeatedly rang in my head.
After taking out my anger on the cushion, my head felt clearer to think about things again.
"What should I do..."
I muttered softly while standing. I doubt that guy would be interested in holding <that> for too long. Thankfully, it seems like he hasn't realized that <that> belongs to me.
... Well, he probably can't imagine me owning <those things>.
Anyway - I have to get that back quickly. It's not just because I have to prevent myself from getting exposed, there's also the fact that <that> is my most precious <treasure>.
But, what should I do?
My brain was working at high speeds, but not one good idea popped up.
Unexpectedly, the chance to get my item back came rather quickly.
Outside my room.
"Well then, off to the convenience store."
Came an idiotic sounding voice. Kyousuke's voice.
That guy... now that he mentions it, he did say he was going to the convenience store.
I ran out of my room in a flash and checked downstairs. From downstairs came Kyousuke's silhouette. Kyousuke's back disappeared around a corner, and before long the sounds of the door closing could be heard.
Looks like he left.
I glanced to my side. That's Kyousuke's room.
I placed my hand on my chest. My heart is beating wildly.
I grabbed the door knob and turned it. My memory was right. There's no lock on the door to Kyousuke's room.
I can't imagine him living in a room without privacy. I wouldn't be able to tolerate it.
After slight hesitation, I opened the door full of determination. Together with a slight creak, the room came into view. The corridor's light shone weakly into the room. The smell of a boy's room, different from my room, came to my nose.
I said softly while knitting my brows. After feeling around, I managed to locate the switch and turned on the lights. The room seemed so pathetic in clear view with the lights on. Green carpet, blue curtains. An ordinary calendar was pasted on the wall. There's also a typical study desk.
I closed the door and bit my lips.
"Che... If I don't hurry up..."
Even it it is that guy's room, the kind me will still feel a sense of guilt for trespassing. Due to this, my heart felt a surge of tightness that I don't usually experience.
I could feel the thumping of my heart.
I took a quick glance around the room, and the target was nowhere to be seen. I found nothing after carefully looking through the book shelves, tea set and dressing cabinet a few times.
... Ugh... It's not in his room? Hmm... Is there anywhere else I haven't looked through...
For example - knowledge from certain games.
It is said that guys hide H books under their beds.
Similar to a dog burying its bone underground.
"Could it be..."
Half in doubt, I took a quick look under the bed.
Hidden under the bed are a few dirty paper boxes.
What a verrrrrrrrrry hateful premonition. However, there's nowhere more suspicious than there to hide <that>.
Enduring corrupt and impure thoughts, I dragged the box out and opened it. And then.
The cute and innocent me felt like crying upon seeing the contents of the box.
Just as expected, the box had a huge amount of H books.
"No! It's too disgusting! So disgusting! Die already!"
That, that guy...! He had always shown a face saying <I'm not interested in girls>... And yet deep down... He's been thinking nothing but these ero thoughts!? He's the worst!
Just like an idiot! And what's this!? Upon a closer look, all the girls are wearing glasses! Does he like glasses that much? What's the difference between wearing them and not wearing them?
I pinched the dirty and sinful materials, book by book and placed them to the side, until the base of the box was visible. However, the box did not contain my treasure.
Next, his dressing cabinet, could it be there...? While thinking about it, I placed the H books back in the box and shoved it under the bed.
"... Guuu... It should be in here.... Emm... Heisho..."
".................. Oi.... What are you doing?"
A voice came from behind me. I froze in position, with my butt in the air.
Wh-Why is that guy here!? Didn't he go to the convenience store!?
My heart is utterly confused.
- Could I have been exposed!?
I turned my head, and found Kyousuke staring at me coldly. My face went pale.
"... What are you doing? I'm asking you a question."
"............... It's none of your business."
I gasped for air and barely answered. However, his questioning did not stop there.
"... How can this be none of my business? Casually entering another person's room to search through his stuff... If it was done to you, what would you think?"
It made me really angry when the person I hate most had said something right.
Saying it in a tone as though he is superior. And yet he hides H books under his bed...
Although I wanted to say that, in this situation I was indeed in the wrong. So I didn't say it. It would feel exaggerated and wrong if I did.
I escaped his glares silently. I slowly stood up and faced Kyousuke.
"No way. Answer me. What are you doing here?"
I can't possibly answer that!
"... I know. You're looking for this, right?"
Kyousuke slowly took it out.
It's the DVD box-set of my favourite anime, <Kira ☆ Stardust Witch Meruru>. I had an uncontrollable liking for this anime. It's because of a Meruru event that I went to the station with the DVD box-set today.
That's right. I've no choice but to admit it. But if that's the case, wouldn't I be labeled as an otaku that's looked down on by the family? To make things worse, my passion for anime loses to no one!
This is the <secret> that I have difficulty telling anyone about. The secret that belongs only to me.
And yet it's been discovered by this guy...!
Upon seeing the lost item, I suddenly reached out for the DVD.
Kyousuke however dodged my hands, and knocked the back of the DVD box with a mischievous expression on his face.
"Fuu... Indeed, this thing is yours, right?"
"... How can that possibly be?"
I can't admit it. No matter what, I must feign ignorance.
This… This guy. I don’t want to expose my weak side to him!
“No? I picked this up at the entrance after bumping into you. Didn’t you drop some things then?”
“Definitely not…. It’s not mine. Su-Such, such a childish anime… I’d never watch… it.”
It’s painful to lie. To deny liking your favourite thing… It’s that painful.
“If you're not looking for this, then what are you doing in my room?”
“… Because… That’s because!”
“That’s because? Because of what?”
I fell silent again. I lowered my head and bit into my lips.
How regretful. I regret it, I regret it, I regret it… I… Why must I be lectured by such a guy? Is it that weird for me to like <such things>?
This is really bad… I’m at a loss of what to do.
Even then, I do not wish to let him see my crying face. My shoulders shivered slightly as I tried to hold back my tears.
Instead, I stared at him with all my might. Even if the chance was a million to one, I still hoped he could understand my feelings.
That thought was replaced with feelings of fear.
If he opened the box, and saw the <contents>……
… I can’t watch it, right? This guy must have figured out my secrets already.
My secret, is that I really like anime targeted for kids… as if. It’s that I have such a cute face, and yet I am an otaku… as if. There’s a bigger secret that can’t be joked about.
The secret that I want no one to know of, has been discovered by Kyousuke.
Even if I deny it now, the evidences… It’s over… it’s all over…
… Will Kyousuke use it to threaten me…? "If you do not want your secrets to be exposed, you’ll have to listen to my orders"? – such developments are not uncommon in games I’ve played in the past…
Unwillingly I began to take notice of the <things> under Kyousuke’s bed.
A feeling of unease was expanding endlessly within me. It’s difficult to even stand.
And in such a tense situation, Kyousuke spoke.
“Here, take it.”
With a casual voice and action, Kyousuke stuffed the DVD box into my chest.
I looked at Kyousuke for a moment, not comprehending his actions.
“It must be something important, right? I’ll return it, so take care of it.”
“I-I said this thing isn’t mine…”
“Then throw it away for me.”
Throw it away… What’s with this development?
There’s no… threat? Don’t you love to tease me? Why aren't you teasing me now?
Kyousuke returned the DVD box to me, and said in a gentle voice that sounded like a lie.
“I'm sorry, it seems like I’ve misunderstood. I know this isn’t yours. Though I’ve no idea who this thing belongs to, I don’t really want it either. While apologizing to you, can I request that you throw this away for me?”
This… This guy…
At this stage, even I knew what that guy meant.
Even then, I couldn't help but be suspicious of the gentle actions of someone who is supposed to look down on me.
“……………. Urm… Th-that's okay.”
In the end, I took back my most precious treasure, while still very much in doubt.
Kyousuke relaxed his arms and stepped away from the door, as if to prompt me to leave his room.
I exchanged positions with Kyousuke and walked towards the door.
Hugging the DVD to my chest, a sense of comfort and security spread through my heart.
Th-That’s unbelievable! How long has it been since that guy last treated me nicely without baring his fangs?
Perhaps I was still nervous; my heart was still beating quickly. My mind couldn’t seem to cool down either…
As such, I did something that even I myself could not explain.
“…. Urm… Hey.”
I said to Kyousuke.
Of course, Kyousuke was not expecting me to talk to him. He said, “Huh?” in an idiotic voice.
“What?” Kyousuke asked nervously.
But then, even I myself was uncertain of what to say. What do I actually have to say to this guy…
“………… It’s weird… isn’t it?”
“I'm saying... that. Let’s just say, if, and I am saying if. If… that thing is mine… wouldn’t you find me weird…?”
I was like an idiot.
This type of question, the answer is crystal clear.
“It’s alright. There’s nothing weird about it.”
The words that came out of Kyousuke’s mouth, however, were not quite what I had anticipated.
“… You really, really think so? …………. Really?”
“Yup. No matter what your interest is, I’d never tease you.”
A strong and definite answer. That voice made me feel nostalgic all of the sudden. I couldn’t help… but ask childishly, like I had done so in the past.
“You're such a pain. I'm telling you the truth. You can believe me.”
“…. Is that so…. Fufu.”
So it's like this… This guy, he had no intention of laughing at my interest…
I nodded my head a few times, then left Kyousuke’s room hugging the Meruru DVD tightly to my chest.
My heart was beating wildly.
Upon returning to my room, even as I laid on my bed…
“Yup. No matter what your interest is, I’d never tease you.”
Kyousuke’s words rang endlessly in my mind.
And then, I…
Right now, I am walking towards Kyousuke’s room.
I brought along with me a heart that has lost its ways, and a calm determination. The complicated feelings of nostalgia and a carefree attitude interweaved in my heart, and spun around continuously.
What am I planning to say to that guy?
How am I supposed to express these feelings I have with words?
Even without being really sure of the current situation, I turned the door knob.
The only thing I had thought of, was the very first line I was about to say.