Sunday, November 17, 2013

Expert's view on what a true lolicon is

By our dearest Sugii Hikaru. Taken from vol 3 of Seitokai Tantei Kirika. 

Warning: if you find the topic of lolicons offensive, please turn back before it's too late. The fictional discussion below does not represent the opinions of the translator.
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"Oh my, Senpai, what got you here? Summer holiday's not over yet."

Kaichou, who was napping in her chair behind her work desk, questioned Shuu-senpai as she lifted her body. Shuu-senpai commutes to school everyday from home via public transport, and he's also in his final years preparing for the college entrance exams — it is indeed quite rare to see him here in school during the holidays.

"Well, I'd like to take a look at my adorable juniors once in a while," said Shuu as he scanned the office.

Misono-senpai, who was staring at the laptop and working on the reports for the first-half of the year, lifted her eyes slightly and chided,

"I bet you are here to photograph middle-school girls who are sweating it out for their club."

The gentle Misono-senpai would not mince her words whenever she's speaking to Shuu-senpai, though it can't be helped.

"Hey hey, don't put it in such a obscene way, yeah?" Shuu-senpai shrugged in innocence. "Those are no sweat, but secretions of little girls."

"That's way more obscene! A hundred times more!"

That's a true lolicon for you.

"It's especially so in the current season; the girls in the first year of middle school will gradually spread their wings and fly away from the flat horizon of lolis, blossoming into mature ladies. What a beautiful and yet depressing season this is! How can I possibly have the mood to study?"

Shuu-senpai's words stirred up a question within me, but I decided to keep my mouth shut since it's nothing overly important anyway. However, Shuu-senpai directed his sharp gaze towards me.

"Looks like you've something to say, Hikage. Go on, feel free to voice it out."

"Urm...... I am just curious, that's all!" I then continued the question after stressing that part, "But why are you so fixated on the first years? To put it in another way, I can more or less understand why the first years are used as the dividing line between the lolis and the mature girls. However, I am curious as to why you are that insistent of that particular age."

In the past, Senpai had once demonstrated his exceptional ability in differentiating the year one girls from those who are not.

"Oh, that's a really difficult question to answer. We can discuss this using ethical theories from the field of loli studies. Or, we can dissect the issue by either using the theoretical definition of a loli or the legal definition of a loli." Damn, he's irritating.

"Ah, urm, well...... I am just asking it in the spur of the moment, so you don't have to actually answer my question."

Shuu-senpai sat himself elegantly onto the reception sofa, all the while being showered by the delighted stares from Kaichou and the hostile gaze from Misono-senpai. He looked just like the pioneer of a certain industry who's about to give an interview for some industrial magazine.

"For those who are fixated in the symbols of a loli - I'm talking about the elementary school girl body or those elementary school bags - I'd refer to them as lolicons who are there to ride the wave — aka the land-lolicons."

"Oh......"

"The term 'land-lolicon' is something coined up by a certain author, and it originates from 'land surfers who does not know surfing, but pretends they do in order to look cool' — that's referring to those who put a surf board on top of their car and tanned themselves at the tanning salon to accost the girls. In the same vein, it's similar for those who argue all day long on whether an elementary school girl is more moe than a kindergarten girl. They are all land-lolicons. Casuals."

A obvious hint of dangerous passion had begun to appear in the voice of Shuu-senpai.

"A professional lolicon will never restrict himself to appearances like that. The period where the girls are in the first years is the time when they turn from twelve to thirteen; when they ripen from a raw state into maturity. It's that sorrow and the last flicker of dazzling brilliance which makes it all the more endearing."

What do you mean by a professional lolicon? More and more questions are beginning to appear in my head, and the urge to end the meaningless topic is getting stronger and stronger within me. However, Shuu-senpai's eyes were shimmering as he looked at me with the expression which says "go on, ask the question". Moreover, I don't have much options available to me as I was the one who raised the subject in the first place. Can't be helped, I'd just play along.

"The age between twelve to thirteen...... urm, is there any significance to that?"

Shuu-senpai leaned his body forward as though he was saying: "excellent question".

"That's because the age of thirteen is the age when the girls are granted sexual autonomy in Japan."

"Sexual autonomy...... huh?" Now that's a new term for me.

Shuu-senpai continued passionately,

"That means under the law, girls who have reached that age of sexual autonomy are deemed to be capable of deciding if she wants to have sex with the other party. In other words, you will breach Article 177 and is deemed to have conducted rape if you make love with a girl below the age of thirteen, and that's even if it's consensual. Simply put, you'll be forced to be in a platonic relationship if you're going out with a girl below the age of thirteen. Threading on the edge where you'll be engulfed by your burning emotions for a girl aged between one to thirteen years old; the despair one faces when he is unable to do anything but to stop the lovin' in order to uphold the pure creed — now that's the true essence of a real lolicon!"

"Call the cops, Misono-senpai."

"Just did."

"And the ambulance too."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that."

15 comments:

  1. oh god.. i think i found a new enlightment from this paper...

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  2. A true lolicon hero!!! My new role model :)

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  3. I kinda wish this LN get translate

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  4. Professional lolicon huh? Wonder who hire these lolicon

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  5. Professional lolis?

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  6. OMG! I'm not a lolicon btw, but I must admit some of the best escenes/plot/stories, etc have little girls as main or sub-main characters.

    Well, gotta watch loli-basket once more :P

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  7. how about the case of Akatsuki from Log Horizon

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  8. oh wow what a new way to look at things. by the way what is article 177?

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  9. I-I'm glad I'm not a lolicon.

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